We've had a couple other big changes in our lives. First, we made a decision about a month ago to leave the church we were attending. That was a huge change as we, me especially, had been very involved in the church. I had been attending there for 3+ years. But hubby has not been happy there for a long time and I felt I wasn't growing and was starting to stagnate. There were some things we weren't so happy about and since I was on the board, I had tried to change a few things. But you can't make people change and the church apparently did not want to go the direction I/we did, so we decided to find somewhere more suited to what we want and need. The boys are staying in the church although I have a few concerns about that. Hubby, LJ, and I have been "church-hopping" for a few weeks now. We keep going back to Cheyenne Alliance and usually go to the early service there and then a different service at 11 or so. We are loving it! We are meeting new people and hearing great praise music and some good sermons too.
The other big change is hubby's job. Finally he left the frustrating negative atmosphere he had been in for almost 10 months. He thought he was going to be fired when they issued an ultimatum that was impossible for him to accomplish. He had been holding out and wanting them to fire him, rather than quitting, mostly because of the ability to collect unemployment. He felt they were trying to push him out for a long time. In the end it was considered a "mutual separation" and he got a nice severance package to carry us through the next month. Of course, my hubby being who he is, is not dependant on the severance package. He already started a new job as an electrician. He's going back to what he really loves to do and will soon have his journeyman's license back. He also has several side jobs lined up so we're not concerned about money. We do want to give credit where credit is due and tell everyone how wonderfully GOD has working things out for us. The situation was pretty crazy especially in the economy we have today, but we never worried. Ok, better change that, I never worried, because I know God will always provide and care for us. He wants what is best for us and when we ask, we receive!
One more change may be around the corner. Hubby's parents have been looking for a home in Cheyenne. They are both retired now and want to do a lot of travelling so want a house where someone can help watch and care for it during the months at a time they are gone. They've looked at a few places here, but interestingly enough the one they like the best is one we've been waiting to have on the market - it's right next door! I know not many people could live next to their parents or in-laws, but we are excited about it. It's not a situation like "Everybody Loves Raymond." We all love each other and get along and have talked many times about how we will try to be considerate of each other. We'll find out in the next few days if the deal will go through.
How's that for a new start to the new year? January sure has been packed!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
It's a Girl!
My hubby and I now officially have a child together! On Tuesday we had a "Ghost Hearing" where we went to the Courthouse and the judge signed adoption papers so my daughter now has the same last name as me and officially has a real, active daddy. We are so excited!! The real purpose of the hearing was to be sure no one would contest the adoption. We probably didn't even need to be there and after 10 minutes they were just going to have the judge sign in his chambers and go on with the court business for the day. But my daughter wanted to see the judge and hubby and I sort of wanted to just to make it more real. Our request was granted, and the judge made a short speech about how nice it was to have something positive to do rather than the negative he usually does. He says most cases are about things breaking apart and ours was about putting together. Hooray for us!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Work
Why haven't I been writing? What a week! I could explain it to you, but since it mostly revolves around my work, I think I maybe should explain that first. The company I work for, which has several offices in Wyoming, does basically 3 things that I could be involved in. We primarily contract with the Department of Family Services to do these things.
1. Supervised visits - this is what I've had very little participation in for a while now. This is when children have been removed from the home, but the parents still are allowed to have visits with the children. Our workers often transport the children to and from the visit and watch the interactions between parents and children. We are there as a safety, but unless safety is threatened, do not participate in the visit. We take notes on precisely what happens and report that back to DFS. I dislike that job because I cannot interact and it is sometimes hard to keep my mouth shut!
2. Family preservation - I am somewhat involved with this and this week was rather heavily involved. I am currently assigned to 2 families. One family has the children in the home and we were called in to help the mom create a budget, work on some parenting issues, and be sure stability is there. That case is about to be closed. My other family is a single mom whose daughter was removed from the home. We were called to work with the mom on financial and parenting issues to prepare her for her child coming home. We also transport the daughter to and from visits with the mom and currently stay with them during the visits. I really like this part of the job most of the time. It is sometimes frustrating, often time consuming, but usually in the end is satisfying as we see progress. Our goal is always stability for the children. We want to do everything possible to be sure they have a healthy, safe, stable home. We hope that is with their parents, but sometimes it is not.
3. Multi-Disciplinary Team meetings (MDTs) - I have been heavily involved in this area recently. I became involved in this area out of necessity in May of last year. When a child is involved in "the system" whether through a delinquency (they commit a crime), child protective services (abuse or neglect), or a CHINS (Child In Need of Supervision - when a child is having problems with school or at home and the parent or someone else asks for help) all people involved in caring for that child have meetings to discuss the case. Those involved are parents, social workers, therapists, school representatives, attorneys, and the District Attorney's office. We coordinate the meetings by scheduling them, notifying all parties when it will be held, directing the flow of the meeting (called facilitating), and then writing a report regarding the meeting. The main purpose of an MDT is to develop recommendations for the child. The report lists the recommendations and shows how those recommendations were developed and is distributed to all members of the team and the judge, who will make the final decisions regarding the child. I don't mind doing this part of the job, but it takes a lot of mental effort and we spend a lot of time in front of the computer - which is why I don't usually want to come home and sit in front of the computer more. We have to be quite meticulous especially in report writing. We have been training 2 new people to do this job and that's part of what has been stressful and frustrating and time consuming for me this week and in the past few weeks. We lost an employee in Sept. who was a major player in this area and since then my hours amost doubled. I am supposed to have my hours cut back to 25-30 when the new people are trained, but until we are sure they will work out, I'm still putting in a lot of time. I have been doing 6-7 MDTs per week, but this week I was involved in 10! Each MDT lasts 30 min. and they are scheduled back-to-back on Tue. and Wed. afternoon. But for a 30 min. meeting, I will spend 1 to 1 1/2 hours on the report process. You can see how my hours add up!
So that may be more than anyone wanted to know, but there's always confusion about what I do and it feels kind of good to actually write it out, in a nutshell, and see that I really do work hard! No wonder I'm tired. I think I'll go take a nap.
1. Supervised visits - this is what I've had very little participation in for a while now. This is when children have been removed from the home, but the parents still are allowed to have visits with the children. Our workers often transport the children to and from the visit and watch the interactions between parents and children. We are there as a safety, but unless safety is threatened, do not participate in the visit. We take notes on precisely what happens and report that back to DFS. I dislike that job because I cannot interact and it is sometimes hard to keep my mouth shut!
2. Family preservation - I am somewhat involved with this and this week was rather heavily involved. I am currently assigned to 2 families. One family has the children in the home and we were called in to help the mom create a budget, work on some parenting issues, and be sure stability is there. That case is about to be closed. My other family is a single mom whose daughter was removed from the home. We were called to work with the mom on financial and parenting issues to prepare her for her child coming home. We also transport the daughter to and from visits with the mom and currently stay with them during the visits. I really like this part of the job most of the time. It is sometimes frustrating, often time consuming, but usually in the end is satisfying as we see progress. Our goal is always stability for the children. We want to do everything possible to be sure they have a healthy, safe, stable home. We hope that is with their parents, but sometimes it is not.
3. Multi-Disciplinary Team meetings (MDTs) - I have been heavily involved in this area recently. I became involved in this area out of necessity in May of last year. When a child is involved in "the system" whether through a delinquency (they commit a crime), child protective services (abuse or neglect), or a CHINS (Child In Need of Supervision - when a child is having problems with school or at home and the parent or someone else asks for help) all people involved in caring for that child have meetings to discuss the case. Those involved are parents, social workers, therapists, school representatives, attorneys, and the District Attorney's office. We coordinate the meetings by scheduling them, notifying all parties when it will be held, directing the flow of the meeting (called facilitating), and then writing a report regarding the meeting. The main purpose of an MDT is to develop recommendations for the child. The report lists the recommendations and shows how those recommendations were developed and is distributed to all members of the team and the judge, who will make the final decisions regarding the child. I don't mind doing this part of the job, but it takes a lot of mental effort and we spend a lot of time in front of the computer - which is why I don't usually want to come home and sit in front of the computer more. We have to be quite meticulous especially in report writing. We have been training 2 new people to do this job and that's part of what has been stressful and frustrating and time consuming for me this week and in the past few weeks. We lost an employee in Sept. who was a major player in this area and since then my hours amost doubled. I am supposed to have my hours cut back to 25-30 when the new people are trained, but until we are sure they will work out, I'm still putting in a lot of time. I have been doing 6-7 MDTs per week, but this week I was involved in 10! Each MDT lasts 30 min. and they are scheduled back-to-back on Tue. and Wed. afternoon. But for a 30 min. meeting, I will spend 1 to 1 1/2 hours on the report process. You can see how my hours add up!
So that may be more than anyone wanted to know, but there's always confusion about what I do and it feels kind of good to actually write it out, in a nutshell, and see that I really do work hard! No wonder I'm tired. I think I'll go take a nap.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Sensitivity Alert
When I was a teenager, a boy from my church who was like my brother, told me I irritated him with my annoying voice. For the longest time after that, whether what he said was true or not, I had the idea I had a shrieking, annoying voice. It's funny how certain comments can affect us so significantly even if they are not true.
I was recently told I am critical. Ouch. Comments that followed referred to how I had tainted my husband and those comments I know to be completely untrue and unfounded. I more easily dismiss the following comments, but the critical one has made me sensitive. Me being me, I began to think about it and try to decide if it is true. As my reaction would indicate, I came to the conclusion I am analytical rather than critical. I look at situations and pick out the good as well as the bad. My boss pointed out I am solution-oriented - whenever I find a problem, I also find a solution. I try to balance a negative statement with one or more positive statements, but whenever possible, I try to only give positives. Critical is completely opposite of what I want to be and it hurt me deeply that anyone, especially this person, would see me that way.
I know people often forget the good and focus on the bad. If I gave 5 positive statements and 1 negative it would be the negative that would be remembered. My friend told me people, especially those who don't know me, may see the way I am as critical. She said if I am okay with how I am, then I must learn to be okay with how others see me because I will never be able to change everyone's opinion or get everyone to see me the same way. I explained to my hubby that if I cannot accept how others see me, I could work on changing how I am. My dear, sweet hubby gave me just the right response, which of course made me cry. He said don't try to change because some of us love you just the way you are. Now that is something I can accept!! So although I'm still sensitive to the idea of being critical, I guess everyone is stuck with me the way I am. Analytical or critical or however you want to see me.
I was recently told I am critical. Ouch. Comments that followed referred to how I had tainted my husband and those comments I know to be completely untrue and unfounded. I more easily dismiss the following comments, but the critical one has made me sensitive. Me being me, I began to think about it and try to decide if it is true. As my reaction would indicate, I came to the conclusion I am analytical rather than critical. I look at situations and pick out the good as well as the bad. My boss pointed out I am solution-oriented - whenever I find a problem, I also find a solution. I try to balance a negative statement with one or more positive statements, but whenever possible, I try to only give positives. Critical is completely opposite of what I want to be and it hurt me deeply that anyone, especially this person, would see me that way.
I know people often forget the good and focus on the bad. If I gave 5 positive statements and 1 negative it would be the negative that would be remembered. My friend told me people, especially those who don't know me, may see the way I am as critical. She said if I am okay with how I am, then I must learn to be okay with how others see me because I will never be able to change everyone's opinion or get everyone to see me the same way. I explained to my hubby that if I cannot accept how others see me, I could work on changing how I am. My dear, sweet hubby gave me just the right response, which of course made me cry. He said don't try to change because some of us love you just the way you are. Now that is something I can accept!! So although I'm still sensitive to the idea of being critical, I guess everyone is stuck with me the way I am. Analytical or critical or however you want to see me.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Holiday Bliss
We completely enjoyed our holiday celebrations. It was a little strange how hubby and I had to work around the holidays, but we both got Christmas, the day after, and New Year's Day off. Christmas Eve was spent with my family. For the first time ever I think, my brother-in-law joined us for dinner at my parents' house so both our families were there. This was special to all of us, but my mom especially felt having her whole family together was the best Christmas present. We enjoyed our traditional Swedish dishes of Lutefisk and Potato Bologne. On Christmas day we opened our presents at home and my parents joined us for that. Then we went to hubby's parent's house and my parents came too. We had a wonderful dinner and more presents. We were really tired from staying up too late the night before, but it was an enjoyable day. We stayed overnight there but my parents went on to Denver for their own special event the next day. I was finally able to finish up a book, "Three Little Words" in those two days. The book was very good and gave me a lot of insight into foster care and what the children I work with go through.
The worst gift I got for Christmas was the hives. I have never had them before and don't really know what caused them, but suspect a virus. I had a lot of itchy days between the two holidays.
New Year's Eve we had my parents over again and another family. We all enjoyed just "hanging out" and eating. We had shrimp galore, summer sausage, cheese and crackers, veggie tray, and a specialty dish from hubby's cajun background, Boudin. It is a spicy sort of sausage. New Year's day we spent watching movies and being total bums! It was great!! So, I guess 2009 is off to a good start.
Gifts
The kids were thrilled to see that Santa had brought them an air hockey table. A few days before Christmas JJ had said he should have added an air hockey table to his Christmas list. I think Santa must have already known! The stockings were filled with the children's favorite sour candy. They all got books, some gift cards, and LJ got jewelry and a box to put it in. I'm sure the best gift though was a Wii from Grandma B. Oh, I am thrilled with my jewelry, clothes, and the cash that will help us have a little getaway sometime soon. Hubby likes his finish nailer too. The grandparents got photo collages from us with pictures of all the kids. My sister had gotten an identical collage frame for my mom too filled with pictures of her kids.
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