Sensitivity Alert

When I was a teenager, a boy from my church who was like my brother, told me I irritated him with my annoying voice. For the longest time after that, whether what he said was true or not, I had the idea I had a shrieking, annoying voice. It's funny how certain comments can affect us so significantly even if they are not true.

I was recently told I am critical. Ouch. Comments that followed referred to how I had tainted my husband and those comments I know to be completely untrue and unfounded. I more easily dismiss the following comments, but the critical one has made me sensitive. Me being me, I began to think about it and try to decide if it is true. As my reaction would indicate, I came to the conclusion I am analytical rather than critical. I look at situations and pick out the good as well as the bad. My boss pointed out I am solution-oriented - whenever I find a problem, I also find a solution. I try to balance a negative statement with one or more positive statements, but whenever possible, I try to only give positives. Critical is completely opposite of what I want to be and it hurt me deeply that anyone, especially this person, would see me that way.

I know people often forget the good and focus on the bad. If I gave 5 positive statements and 1 negative it would be the negative that would be remembered. My friend told me people, especially those who don't know me, may see the way I am as critical. She said if I am okay with how I am, then I must learn to be okay with how others see me because I will never be able to change everyone's opinion or get everyone to see me the same way. I explained to my hubby that if I cannot accept how others see me, I could work on changing how I am. My dear, sweet hubby gave me just the right response, which of course made me cry. He said don't try to change because some of us love you just the way you are. Now that is something I can accept!! So although I'm still sensitive to the idea of being critical, I guess everyone is stuck with me the way I am. Analytical or critical or however you want to see me.