Stretching the Valentine

I could have called this post "vegging for Valentines." We had the most restful weekend! Of course I ended up kind of paying for all that laying around and being lazy yesterday. Saturday we slept late, ate a big breakfast, and barely got around in time to go to my great uncle's 90th birthday party. The party was kind of a cool thing. All the kids went off to do their own thing and then hubby and I went driving around to 4 different stores to find crab legs so he could cook and we could enjoy the night at home alone. He ended up buying 5 lbs for the two of us and so we were completely stuffed! Crab and asaparagus is all we ate, but it was sooooooo good!

Sunday we went to 2 church services in the morning, then to dinner after the 2nd service with some friends, then to another get together my extended family had. Of course all that fun and visiting wore us out so we spent the evening laying around in front of the t.v.

Monday the kids did not have school and hubby got the day off, but I had to work. I woke in the morning thinking of the millions of things I had not done over the weekend which suddenly seemed rather urgent to get done in one day. After working til 3, I ran a bunch of errands and was busy all evening, but most things got done.

For Valentine's Day I got 2 pairs of beautiful earrings and a bracelet. The earrings are a little small so I made an impulsive decision to get a second piercing in each ear so I could wear those little earrings with other earrings I have. Since the subject was in our minds we asked daughter if she wanted her ears peirced and she said she did! So one of the things we did yesterday after work was to go and get ears pierced. LJ was good about it and went first, but she was a little whimpy afterwords. She almost threw up about 10 minutes after she was done. Now she says it hurts a little, but she is so proud and couldn't wait to go to school and show off her new earrings. Thus, I feel we stretched Valentine's Day out over about 3 days! Or shall I just count today too? :)

Processing

I have recently realized I have a lot of emotions I haven't dealt with completely. In my work as an MDT facilitator, I have to sit and listen to a whole bunch of personal and emotional stuff. But I don't get to say anything and mostly even prevent my face from showing a reaction. There are times I want to laugh out loud at what I hear and other times I want to beat my head, or someone else's, on the table. But, we are to be the neutral party so I have to stuff the feeling for a while and then vent later when I get to the office. Of course we never seem to share everything or get everything out, we have to learn how to just dismiss things without dealing with them.

It seems I'm doing somewhat the same thing in my personal life. Above all I try to remain calm and collected and deal with the feeling later. But sometimes I don't deal with the feelings the way I should. It seems life happens so fast, I don't always have time or take time to process what I've been feeling. I came to a point recently where I was asked how I felt about something and I said, honestly, I don't know. I never say that! That's not me!! Then I knew I had come to a point that I needed to deal with some past feelings so that I could get in touch and feel again.

I have begun the process of processing, and now it's like I broke the dam. The littlest thing starts me crying. If you are someone who sees me, do not be alarmed at this. I've actually warned my co-workers this could happen. Last week I had to deal with this in a serious way. It wasn't really something little that set me off, but I certainly over-reacted. The whole "critical" issue came up again. It led to me processing my own view of myself. Ever done that? It isn't easy! I believe I am really changing my own view of who I am and learning to accept that. My hubby again confirmed he does not want me to change, he loves me the way I am. If he loves me and God who made me loves me (I know HE does), then I should be able to love myself.