For those who hate sappy stuff, I think you should stop reading now. But I do want to ask, why do people hate sappy, lovey-dovey expressions so much? I've had an issue with this since Hubby and I first got together. We are very affectionate toward each other. No matter where we are we don't hide it. I so often feel people are rolling their eyes at us and the comments from the children are endless. I do have to say we delight in grossing them out and sometimes pretend we're making out or something just to get a reaction! But why is it a bad thing to be in love and let people know it?
Yesterday was our second anniversary! I have to say I am so glad I listened to God and not the people who told me I was crazy. We have such a good relationship. I start thinking we're out of the honeymoon phase and then Hubby does something wonderful and I'm all twitterpated again. I wish everyone could experience what I have. I wish for you the feeling of love, peace, and joy. It doesn't mean there's never an issue or never any hurts or anger. Those things remind me we are still human and this isn't a dream. It makes it real when we can work through such things. I've recently began wondering if it has anything to do with previous failed marriages. I do think it makes me more attentive and determined to work things out.
So we had plans for the weekend. Kids were going to stay with grandparents and friends for Friday and Saturday nights. We were going to stay home and just enjoy time together. Well, we did that, but Hubby was sick. He woke up throwing up on Friday and that continued through the day. Saturday he was a little better, but still not up to par. We did go to Poor Richards for dinner Sat. night. The food was good, but that's about all the nice things I can say about it. In some regards the weekend was disappointing - it wasn't at all what I had expected. BUT we still had fun. We completely enjoyed just being together and we managed to have some fun too. (Only a deathbed would really stop us from all physical affection.) My hubby learned what was supposed to be given for each anniversary, and since the second is cotton (who thought that up?) he gave me new, nice cotton sheets. Without knowing the whole cotton thing, I got him clothes that were at least partly cotton. :) Yesterday he also sent me flowers at work.
Are you sick yet? The only sickness I want for my friends is love-sickness. Can you imagine the changes in the world if everyone was able to have the kind of relationship we have? Think about that and go kiss your spouse if you have one! For those who don't have a spouse - I'm praying for you.
2 comments:
Boy did you strike a chord here! Sorry if I ramble...
My experience is from my first marriage. His love language was apparently gifts because he would buy me stuff all of the time. I would get these nice gifts usually presented in a public forum (flowers delivered at work, gifts bought or given while in front of family/friends/colleagues, etc.) and everyone would ooohh and aaahhh about it and tell me what a wonderful husband he was. All the while we weren't speaking to one another and avoiding one another at home. It was such a conflict of actions. I now HATE gifts and I don't like to give them either. It is hard for me to get past that experience.
Another situation I was in was with another friend and his girlfriend. They had been dating for some time and chose not to have sex before marriage. I have no problem with that but when they came to stay with us for a weekend they spent much of their time wrestling around on the floor, tickling one another, grabbing at one another....it was like being around two 15 year old kids. It was annoying and I felt it was also disrespectful towards us. I'm not a prude but I couldn't carry on a conversation with them because they were playing grab-ass the entire weekend. BARF.
If we go out to eat or hang out with you two and you steal a few kisses or hold hands then I don't have a problem with that. If your attention is more on one another than the discussion at hand then I get annoyed. You've never done that around me though.
Your kids never want to think of their parents as being sexual so that is why they freak out! But, remember you are modeling for them so be prepared to openly discuss sexual things with them. Even if you stress sex/affection within the confines of marriage remember you are doing these things in front of teenagers who have hormones flowing out of control and a young, impressionable girl who might think that that is what she must do to gain the attentions of a boy.
Kids should see their parents being affectionate towards one another but you must stress those values that you wish to pass along in conjunction with that. If stressing safe sex and protecting yourself emotionally is what you value (as I do), then use that time to discuss those values with them. If sex within marriage is what you value, then be sure to always reinforce the fact that you are married in conjunction with that. Don't just laugh off their embarrassment and tease them. Use it as a teachable moment every time.
Meeting the emotional and physical needs of your partner is something we all easily forget to do. If people roll their eyes at small gestures of affection between the two of you then maybe they miss that in their relationship. If you are not going overboard with your public displays then most people will see the love between the two of you and be happy for you.
Just my 2 cents :)
Happy Anniversary.
I'm completely OK with people showing some affection for each other - as long as the PDAs are few, far in between and appropriate for the location. As one of those who roll their eyes, I do so for one simple reason: I'm cynical.
Previous experience has taught me that in most cases people who are all over each other in public are doing so to "prove" something. Sort of like the hypocrites who attend church religiously every Sunday. Appearances can be deceiving.
But, as one of those doubters you didn't listen to when you got married - I want you to know I hope the PDAs are real and include many non-P displays, as well, for years to come.
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